Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
