And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
