If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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