Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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