I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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