nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
