at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
