one might say we're banned from that church
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
