I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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