Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
