chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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