I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I need to sanitize my soul.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
