doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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