I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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