i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
