sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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