You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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