After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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