Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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