i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
