I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
how drunk are you?
Several
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
