please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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