I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
