as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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