Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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