Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
