Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
