Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
