matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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