This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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