I wish life had little blips of pornography
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
