Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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