JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
