is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
