Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
