I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
