I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
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