my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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