plz talk dirty to me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
