You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
