I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
