i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
