I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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