I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
