you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
