Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
