drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
