So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
