I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
