A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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