Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
