if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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