Plan B is the new Plan A
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
