So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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